my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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