well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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