that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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