Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
