its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
