It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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