I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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