Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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