My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
