Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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