I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
