There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
