He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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