Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he was CRYING into my vagina
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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