she takes plan B like it's going out of style
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
