google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
whose parrot is this?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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