as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
