i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
