dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.