Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
