I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
