he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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