Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
be right there i have to get my cape
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
