Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
vagina is talking i cant
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
