I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
