omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
