i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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