This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
