found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
