I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
