I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
