you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
