census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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