I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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