I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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