I hate all girls vehemently.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
