Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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