i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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