Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
