yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
