Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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