Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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