my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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