he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
