So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ok first of all what the fuck
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
