can u get pink eye on your cock?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
