i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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