You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
