fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
