i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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