Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
