Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
