its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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