yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
